Show notes

Questions to Elicit memories. 

How would you describe Nanny?

What is your favorite memory with Nanny?

What did you call them—any nicknames or terms of endearment?

Did she have a pet name for you?

Is there a particular lesson learned from Nanny?

What do you think Nanny valued most in life?

What words would you use to describe her character?

How would you describe her personality?

What is a particular time you recall where Nanny was especially joyful?

What about a time she was embarrassed?

What is your earliest memory of Nanny?

What was her laugh like?

Was she chronically late or early?

Do you have any funny stories about times you spent together?

Questions about Grief 

1. What is grief?

• Grief is a response to loss. While many focus on the emotional aspect of grief, it’s worth noting that there are physical, social, and cognitive reactions as well. Grief is sometimes described as “deep distress” after a loss, particularly a death.

2.  You have lost both of your parents now, can you describe the similarities and differences between losing your dad years ago, and losing your mother now. 

3. What are the five stages of grief?

• The well-known five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These guidelines were developed by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969. There are others now who say that there are actually more than five stages and some experts who believe there are as few as two stages.

4. A friend or loved one says they are tired of you “complaining.” How does that make you feel, and how do you respond?

5. Did you have a stage where you weren’t ready to go back to normal? Did you avoid social engagements?

6. Nanny wasn’t always the easiest person to get along with, and I know that both of you had times in your lives where you didn’t get along with her for various reasons. Do you think about that now, and do you feel like you got closure? 

7. How do you feel about forced positivity, or negative positivity, “She's in a better place now”, “It’s better this way”, “It’s all part of the plan”. 

8. Do you feel alone in your grief, or do you feel like you both have someone who understands your pain?

9. When does grief end?

10. What do you want to say to someone who is going through the same thing you are now?

11. What would you say to Nanny if you had a chance to talk to her here and now?

12. What would you like to say to one another, as sisters going through this together, that you maybe haven’t said to one another yet?